I was a bit disappointed at weekly weigh in yesterday as instead of gaining i had in fact lost 0.2kg. I'm not pleased about it but there are a few reasons that this could be, last week I weighed myself in a different place so it could simply be the difference between scales, It could be down to water retention or flutuating weigh generally and I have still gained 1.3kg in one month,which is a huge achievement that I mustn't lose sight of.

However it does remind me just how fragile the weight gain is. I have been trying hard and even though I have been hoping to let myself eat slightly less the difference in calories from last week when i gained 0.8 and this week when i appear to have lost 0.2 is only 400 cals over the whole week. Obviously this shouldn't make such a huge difference and it doesn't really add up. I have been having awful stomach aches and nausea this week which makes it even harder to force food down but I have been doing it, to get no result is hard to take and leaves me at a loss for what to aim for calorie wise this week. This is why me and so many other CF people hate the topic of weight gain. Please keep those prayers and thoughts coming, I really do appreciate them.

One good point that came out of the day was that I bought some very pretty shoes. I got them to cheer myself up and as a reward for trying so hard this last month. They are very lovely and quite impractical considering the gail force winds and heavy rain but that just means they are perfect "pick me up shoes".

On Monday I have my exam which should be ok but I'm still a little bit nervous! I need to do well to pass and have been revising for weeks, which is saying something seeing as i am terrible at revision. Being the responsible home learning student that i am ( hmmmm...) I have got the magic markers out and made revision sheets with infomation,researchers, theories, and everything! Its probably the most revision I've ever done but thats not saying much. I should point out that I usually do ok in exams but just never revise for them much. There was also the infamous day when I actually forgot I had an exam and completely missed it! I walked in to my 6th form block to have a small crowd rush up asking why I hadn't turned up....?! Ooopps!

Anyway there is no chance of that this time as I am having a home examination. Its 3 hours long so quite a wrench for someone who hasn't had a proper exam for about three years. I'll let you know how it goes.

Hope you're all ok and enjoying the lovely Autumn days.
xxxx