Just a quick one today, (proper post to come soon) but I wanted to wish all my blog reader friends the very best New year possible. Hoping you have a very happy and healthy 2009 where all your dreams and wishes come true.
Lots of love and best wishes to you all.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have had a few things planned recently, really small insignificant things but that mean a lot to me. I'm so restricted with going out especially as this seems to be a terrible winter for coughs,colds and general bugs. Obviously not getting out and being limited by what I can do (being so tired/achey I have to do even the smallest job in stages) things that seem tiny to others mean a hell of a lot to me. Unfortunately almost all the little changes of scene I had planned have been cancelled because of people getting ill and not wanting to pass germs on. While I realise this is for my own good its still been disappointing and I'll admit to having a couple of good old cries recently,mainly due to frustration, helplessness and fear of what lies ahead for me in the coming year.


My mum and dad have been fantastic as always, putting up with my moods, cheering me up and making things as nice as possible which they do wonderfully well. Last night my lovely friend Lindsay came to the rescue again and when I mentioned that I hadn't done a lot of festive things, she immediately suggested a nice takeaway but not before she bundled me into her car to go Christmas light hunting!! Driving around listening to Christmassy songs, heating turned up full whack and creating mini traffic jams when we slowed to look at lights was such a fantastic! We had such a laugh and while she drove I gave the houses efforts marks out of 10. I know she didnt think much of her kind gesture but I can't explain how much it meant to me, not only because I had a great time with my best friend but because she cared so much about cheering me up. It just shows you that you dont realise how a small action makes such an impact on someone. Thank you to lovely Linds my Christmas star.


Hopefully today I will be able to spend some time with my nephew who is nearly 4 and very into all things Christamssy this year. He has been poorly so this is the first chance we have had to spend time with him for about a month. Its always hard when I cant see the kids because of colds and thiis year has been one after another but hopefully this afternoon will make up for it.

I also had some good news in terms of weigh in! Last week I was 43.3kg and this week I have gained again, now reaching a good 43.9kg which is nearly my highest weight.

Im not sure what we are doing for the big day yet. One of my sisters and her family were supposed to be coming but she has been ill so depending how she is they may not come. If not it will be just me and my parents, which is a bit sad but Christmas is a time for the special people who make you happy and i couldnt spend it with two people who made me more so.

It will be a very hard year for me, because (lets be honest, plus its easier to write down than to say aloud) this could be my last xmas if i dont get my transplant. It is a horrible thought and one i try to ignore as much as possible but I cant deny that things are much harder than last year, im more tired and breathless than ever. As a family we are under intense strain and often dont get the support we need from other members of the clan and from some of the people who are there to help us.

That said there are so many people who are fantastic friends and have show us tremendous love and caring. Everyone who reads this blog is part of that support as well as all the other friends who help us through. This year hasn't been doom and gloom we have had some amazing moments. Its those people and times that matter in the end.

I Wish you all a very merry christmas however you spend it, I hope you all have a fantastic time enjoy every second. Lots of love and goodwill to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ok, I am very sorry its been a long time since my last post, slap on the wrist for me, but I have been busy and have lots of odds and ends to tell you about to make up for the delay.
Where to begin? First of all the reason I have been busy is mainly that I've had an essay due in and I have been really really struggling to get it done. I missed a lot of readig when my back was bad and have consquently been 3 weeks behind. My tutor has been fantastic with giving me extra time to get it done but I hate being under pressure to get something done especially when I have so many other things to do,such as christmas cards, presents that need to be posted, wrapping birthday gifts and xmas gifts etc. Thankfully it is done now and will be sent off later today.
A good piece of news was that I found out that I passed my previous course, (the one that I had the 3 hour exam for) so I was really pleased with that.
Two dates to mark off, Tuesday marked 17 months of waiting for new lungs and December 4th was this blogs 1st birthday! I can't believe that I have kept it going this long and could never have imagined the therapeutic effect it would have, the lovely people who would read it, how much support it has brought me and how much I would enjoy writing it. Thank you to everyone who drops by to read, I love you all!

Last week was pretty dull but on Friday I had a visit from Emily, a lovely lady with CF who had her transplant two years ago. She popped in to film me for Battlefront, a campaign encouraging people (especially young people) to sign the organ donor register. It was so great to see her, and to see how fantastically well she looked, transplants truly are a miracle.
We did some filming with a tiny little camera that we were very impressed with! When it goes up on the website I will post the link so you can have a look.
I feel I had more news than that but I will post it next time if I do. Today I am enjoying not having to write an essay, and then my best friend is coming over to trim my hair so that it looks pretty for christmas, (she is a hairdresser just to clarify, we're not just chopping and hoping for the best!).
Just before I go....I haven't been doing weekly weigh in for a few weeks for various reasons but I'm hoping to do so in the next couple of days. Lots of fatty thoughts would be VERY appreciated as I am scared stiff about how it will be. My lovely friends have done it before please do it again for me.
Much love to you all, enjoy any festivities that are going on in your lives and updates soon with photos! I promise!!
xxxxxxxxxx