Wishing you all a magical Christmas

I have had a few things planned recently, really small insignificant things but that mean a lot to me. I'm so restricted with going out especially as this seems to be a terrible winter for coughs,colds and general bugs. Obviously not getting out and being limited by what I can do (being so tired/achey I have to do even the smallest job in stages) things that seem tiny to others mean a hell of a lot to me. Unfortunately almost all the little changes of scene I had planned have been cancelled because of people getting ill and not wanting to pass germs on. While I realise this is for my own good its still been disappointing and I'll admit to having a couple of good old cries recently,mainly due to frustration, helplessness and fear of what lies ahead for me in the coming year.

My mum and dad have been fantastic as always, putting up with my moods, cheering me up and making things as nice as possible which they do wonderfully well. Last night my lovely friend Lindsay came to the rescue again and when I mentioned that I hadn't done a lot of festive things, she immediately suggested a nice takeaway but not before she bundled me into her car to go Christmas light hunting!! Driving around listening to Christmassy songs, heating turned up full whack and creating mini traffic jams when we slowed to look at lights was such a fantastic! We had such a laugh and while she drove I gave the houses efforts marks out of 10. I know she didnt think much of her kind gesture but I can't explain how much it meant to me, not only because I had a great time with my best friend but because she cared so much about cheering me up. It just shows you that you dont realise how a small action makes such an impact on someone. Thank you to lovely Linds my Christmas star.

Hopefully today I will be able to spend some time with my nephew who is nearly 4 and very into all things Christamssy this year. He has been poorly so this is the first chance we have had to spend time with him for about a month. Its always hard when I cant see the kids because of colds and thiis year has been one after another but hopefully this afternoon will make up for it.

I also had some good news in terms of weigh in! Last week I was 43.3kg and this week I have gained again, now reaching a good 43.9kg which is nearly my highest weight.

Im not sure what we are doing for the big day yet. One of my sisters and her family were supposed to be coming but she has been ill so depending how she is they may not come. If not it will be just me and my parents, which is a bit sad but Christmas is a time for the special people who make you happy and i couldnt spend it with two people who made me more so.

It will be a very hard year for me, because (lets be honest, plus its easier to write down than to say aloud) this could be my last xmas if i dont get my transplant. It is a horrible thought and one i try to ignore as much as possible but I cant deny that things are much harder than last year, im more tired and breathless than ever. As a family we are under intense strain and often dont get the support we need from other members of the clan and from some of the people who are there to help us.

That said there are so many people who are fantastic friends and have show us tremendous love and caring. Everyone who reads this blog is part of that support as well as all the other friends who help us through. This year hasn't been doom and gloom we have had some amazing moments. Its those people and times that matter in the end.

I Wish you all a very merry christmas however you spend it, I hope you all have a fantastic time enjoy every second. Lots of love and goodwill to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


  1. Wishing you and your parents a wonderful Christmas! I felt the same last year, wondering what lay ahead...and then my world changed in a moment. I wish and pray for that 'moment' to come soon for you so that 2009 can be a new beginning :-)

    Take care and enjoy being with your family!
    jac xx

  2. Hiya hunni,

    I hope you had a nice Christmas day, sending lots of love from all in our house to all in your house.


  3. I hope your Christmas was everything your heart desires. We will continue to pray for your gift of life...and congrats on the weight gain!

  4. hi
    i know its after christmas, but i hope you had a good day, and it wasnt too tiring.
    i hope u got lots of lovely presents and made some xmas wishes.
    i hope they come true.
    lots of love for a great 2009.