Pain in the ..........

Last time we spoke I told you I was determined to go to a wedding I had coming up. It was my cousin's wedding and despite the heat I really wanted to go. The day before the big day was absolutely boiling and muggy which doesn't help with breathing. If you had asked me that day if I would get to the wedding I would have said no way. I had the worst day breathing in ages, heart beat runing high, very breathless, feeling exhausted without doing anything, very shakey and I honestly didnt know how I was going to manage to get dressed the next day let alone go to a wedding. Mum and I decided to take things slowly (I could tell she was worried about me) starting with getting physio done, if I managed that then I would get dressed, if I was still ok then get downstairs etc, in other words very small steps. We made arrangements for my sister to take me in her car as it had great air conditioning to keep me really cool and I gave myself loads of time to get ready. I had treated myself to some new shoes which I must say were the most pretty, sparkly shoes I have ever seen and were another factor in me wanting to take them out for their first adventure!

So after a lot of help, breathing drugs and pain killers I was ready to go. I was so pleased to be able to join in with something for a change and had a really lovely day. Everyone looked beautiful particularly the bride and although I found the day very draining it was worth it to be there. I managed to stay until after the speeches were read before finally admitting defeat and heading home for a well deserved rest and several days of taking it easy.

Me and Mum (shoes dont look in any way as nice as they do in real life)

I've been getting a lot of pains recently which has really been getting me down. Lots of back aches mainly but my body also likes to mix it up with a dull ache in my chest, sciatica and general aches and pains in my legs. So the last few weeks I've been having to take pain relief more than I'd like (try to avoid it where possible) which is tricky in itself. For a start although the pain is obviously uncomfortable its not agonising pain or anything, so in a perfect world I would imagine minimal pain relief would be needed. However this is me we're talking about. No matter what I take it doesn't seem to be taking the pain off completely, so now I'm still kind of in pain but twitching from my TENS machine, frustrated that seemingly small amount of pain is so hard to get rid of, not wanting to go anywhere as I'm never as comfy as when I'm at home and dealing with the nasty side effects of pain killers such as tummy probs and weakness, dizziness and generally feeling "out of it". After lots of experimentation with various doses of paracetamol, codeine, co-codamol, and migralieve (I can't take Ibruprofen based drugs) I seem to have found what works best of a bad bunch and my pains have also been a weeeny bit better.

I'm also trying to keep up an exercise regieme (stop sniggering at the back). For anyone who knows me in any depth, Tor and exercise are rarely seen together in the same sentance. It is something I truly hate to do firstly because I just hate doing it, second I'm no good at doing it, third, I get out of breath, sick, achey even more than usual while doing it and fourth the injustice, surely you would think the one perk of being someone who is so ill would be not having to do exercise? Sadly you would be wrong. So after being told I really do need to do more and going through several completely unmanagable exercise regiemes i have settled on something that is better than nothing and doesn't leave me worse than when I started. It's a real effort physically and time wise too do it but apparently it does make a huge difference to post transplant recovery so I'm doing my best. Lots of work with my hand and ankle weights as well as other bits and pieces to build strength etc. Hoping I can keep it up!


  1. first, you look very nice in your pic! - do you have a close up of the shoes?!

    I am glad you made it to the wedding, and even though it was tiring Im glad for you.

    Sorry you was achey and in pain, they do say Cfers get mild arthritis so its not uncommon. I suffer with my knees a lot.

    Good luck with the exercises, it does make sense to build yourself up.

    sending hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  2. oh im so glad you mad eit to teh wedding! :) and the shoes got their outing ;)

    Cant beleive you manage an exercise regime of any sort, that puts me to shame. you inspire me every time i read your blog Tor!

    Hope you keep managing the pain a little at least. Fingers crossed for more relief!

  3. Wahey to making the Wedding!! Just before my transplant I went to an evening wedding reception and I lasted less than an hour, so you did good girl!!

    Nice outfit!!

    Exercise will definetly help you post transplant trust me!! Do as much with your legs as you can and upper body weights xx