After my last post with all its rather rubbish medical stuff I wanted to write about some of the positives going on too. At the moment I'm struggling quite a lot emotionally and I'm not entirely sure why but random bursts of crying, feeling completely inadequate, insomnia etc, interspersed with more positive days is quite a confusing, draining time. 

But I thought I would tell you about some of the good things. 

Major first thing is that I am going to New York! I have always wanted to go for years, made and broke plans but I'm finally going in honour of my 5 years post transplant! I'm obviously not going to say when in case masses of you decide to burgle my house but between now and the end of the year we will be there! I'm super excited but super anxious too, about pain levels, fatigue and how I can work with the during our short stay. Any places/restaurants/things we shouldn't miss, please comment as we really need to start planning.

Next positive, starting an exercise schedule. Mainly for the muscle toning I'm in desperate need of, but also because I would like ideally to shed a couple of kilos I've gained from steroid use. Honestly, if you've ever been on steroids you'll know how crazy it is with wanting to eat constantly, even when you know it will make you fat, you can't help it. It's bloody tough going and I'm still working out how much I can manage without completely wiping myself out for the rest of the day. Again, feelings of inadequacy and pain levels really don't help with this either but trying to stay on track and do something at least. 

I've been having a big clear out of all my stuff. I seem to start this a lot then it just dwindled off. This time I seem to be doing a bit better at it. It's therapeutic to get rid of the old and then organise everything. It's as though one little bit of my life I can be in control of. I've gone slightly crazy about storage solutions though.....whsmiths and homesense are my happy places! I could literally spend all day in homesense....

I passed both my music theory grade 4 (distinction) and my singing exam (one mark off a merit) which I was convinced I'd failed due to nerves. So that was a really nice boost.

I completely adore the new Paralympic ad, and thought it was worth mentioning here. If by chance you haven't seen it, WATCH IT NOW!!! It's an incredibly feel-Good, inspiring, ballsy, can do ball of brilliance. Watch it, take it in, be inspired.

Something that isn't a positive strictly speaking but that I think will be good for me, is that I've gone cruelty free. Cruelty free means that I only use products that have not been tested on animals. You thought that no cosmetics etc were tested on animals anymore? Think again. 
Many companies decide to sell abroad namely to China which requires animal testing to be able to legally sell there. Companies do not need to sell in China, they do so solely for profit and by making this choice they condone animal testing. Which I think is a little bit disgusting in this day and age. As a result I will not be giving these companies any more of my money.  If you're interested in finding out more visit Petas website or google cruelty free. I've had comments that why do I bother when my medicines have been tested on animals? My answer is, I can't stop taking my medications. If I did I would die fairly quickly and that would be the ultimate disrespect to my donor, my family, the nurses, doctors and surgeons who have fought to keep me going all these years. However things like make up, body wash, toothpaste? That's a choice I can make and I would rather go without than use products tested on animals. 

My last one is that I have been trying to practise gratitude. I don't have one of the fancy gratitude journals yet (possibly in the future) but everyday I try to appreciate a small part of my day, actively log it in my brain: the sun on my face, breeze on my skin, the taste of a particularly good cup of tea, the softness of Lucky's fur when he's curled up next to me.  I'm hoping this is going to amount to more happiness in my life overall but even these little bits are a great start. 

So in short I wasn't sure whether to write or not but here it is. I'd LOVE to hear from you, would you like to know some of my favourite cruelty free products? I'm just learning myself but would be happy to recommend or hear your recommendations. New York tips? 
Also I am considering doing some short videos about certain topics, 5 minutes or so of me talking to camera like in a blog post but speaking directly to you. Would you be interested? What would you like me to talk about? 

Sending you all love and light. Enjoy your weekend. Xx


  1. I have a glossy box subscription and they often send So Susan products, which are cruelty free. It's lovely makeup and although american they deliver to uk http://sosusan.com/en/
    I also use smashbox as it's similar to MAC but no animal testing. I only recently found out about the testing for chinese market, so am also trying to be cruelty free. x

  2. Oooh, have fun in NYC! There's so much to do and see there - I definitely recommend the Metropolitan Museum of Art, going to Central Park when the intensity of the city gets to be too much, going to the top of the Empire State Building (their elevators are crazy fast and made my ears pop haha), going and seeing a show on Broadway, the food at Smorgasburg in Brooklyn, the doughnuts at Dough, etc etc. NYC can be exhausting, but I think that in general a lot of places are disability friendly and the city has done a lot to improve things within the last few years - for instance, elevators and escalators leading to the train platforms and taxis are required by law to carry someone in a wheelchair. You can also hire a scooter or wheelchair for your trip for when pain or fatigue sets in. Here are a couple of good resources for traveling to NYC with a disability, especially one that might limit mobility: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-2398251/Disabled-travel-Our-essential-guide-getting-New-York-wheelchair.html and http://www.nycgo.com/plan-your-trip/basic-information/accessibility