Sunday, April 26, 2020


I’m going to be honest, at the moment Cancer is kicking my arse. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I need to try and stay mobile, to eat and to sleep but I’m carrying who knows how many extra kilos in fluid. The same tumour and fluid is crushing my lungs and it’s a weird throw back to breathlessness, gasping and anxiety attacks of pre transplant days. But with good lungs.
Eating is difficult drinking bloody impossible as extras just add to the extra weight/heaviness on my chest.

A lot of people say ‘get the fluid drained like I did before’. 1) this wasn’t a nice experience 2) it lasted around 24/48 hours and was back again 3) it’s entering and moving round a hospital with known Covid cases 4) the only way the fluid will come off and maybe stay off a bit more is with chemo added in. So in light of that I don’t want to get drained more than I absolutely have to and am not able to have a semi permanent one which is a bugger.

That means I’m at home struggling a lot day to day. Pain has been horrendous as I believe fluid and tumour are pressing on nerves so making them hurt like hell. Thankfully the hospice were great at controlling this for me and it’s still there but vastly improved. Breathing is helped a little by pain relief and trying to stay active but can’t tell you how upsetting this is. I fought the lung battle and to feel this monster ruining my hard work is soul destroying.

I’m not particularly impressed with Marsdens reaction. I’ve heard nothing since they gave me information of my treatment plan (alone and in hospital) over a week ago. I know they are extraordinarily busy but the check in or indeed some dates of when things will happen would have been a big comfort.

I’m back to needing help dressing, bathing, etc. I look like someone else so avoid mirrors majority of the time. I was actually mistaken as being pregnant the other week. If only! 

I’m not giving up, but unfortunately I have to wait until certain factors come together for me to fight. It will get harder before it eases which is a great thought but it’s not just doing the right thing but doing it at the right time.

I regularly crumble into a mass of sobbing blubber then realise I can’t cry and breathe so have to have a mini break before I start again. I never give myself credit but I am amazed by how I’m managing to get through each day at present.

So yes, cancer has got me completely on my arse right now. But it won’t be for long.

You Might Also Like

5 comments

  1. My ex-boyfriend dumped me 8months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me .I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. once again thank you Dr Godday you are truly talented and gifted. Email: Goddayspiritualhome@gmail.com is the only answer. he can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man contact +19194956404 - WHATSAPP ONLY

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: Emutemple@gmail.com or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.

    ReplyDelete
  3. this is real take it serious, who will believe that a herb can cure ten
    years HIV in my body, i never believe that this will work i have spend a
    lot when getting drugs from the hospital to keep me healthy, what i was
    waiting for is death because i was broke, one day i hard about this great
    man who is well know of HIV and cancer cure, i decided to email him,
    unknowingly to me that this will be the end of the HIV aids in my body, he
    prepare the herb for me, and give me instruction on how to take it, at the
    end of the two week, he told me to go to the hospital for a check up, and i
    went, surprisingly after the test the doctor confirm me negative, i thought
    it was a joke, i went to other hospital was also negative, then i took my
    friend who was also HIV positive to the Dr voodoo after the treatment she
    was also confirm negative . He also have the herb to cure cancer please i
    want every one with this virus to be free, that is why am dropping his
    email address, voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com i want you to email him he
    is a great man. the government is also interested in this Dr voodoo
    thank you for saving my life, and I promise I will always testify
    for your good work you can also add him on whatsApp
    +2348140120719

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is the current gambling legal in Tennessee? - DRMCD
    A few weeks ago, the Tennessee Gaming Control Commission (TGC) formally 나주 출장마사지 launched sports 샌즈 betting in Tennessee. The launch comes just 청주 출장마사지 a 시흥 출장마사지 few 천안 출장샵 months after

    ReplyDelete
  5. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A PROFESSIONAL HACKER ONLINE❓HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MONEY TO SCAMMERS💵? OR DO YOU WANT TO CATCH YOUR CHEATING SPOUSE🚻? AND LOTS MORE ! THEN TRY DCLEAKS INC. WHERE EVERY REQUEST ON HACKINGS ARE SOLVED.

    DCLeaks was created in June, 2016. It consists of a group of GREY HAT HACKERS and is an affiliate to Russian based hacking organisations such as Evil Corp and Fancy Bears. We have our interest focused on fighting online scam and exposing cheating/corrupt individuals through the efforts of our qualified Hackers who are recruited and registered. We do this by making sure that our clients get the best services on a basis of PAYMENT AFTER JOB SERVICE✔️. You can test run and make sure that the job is done before payment is made.
    Our Customer service is 💯 guaranteed as we have received over 10,000 TESTIMONIES from all over the world and we offer one of the best Hacking services in the world.🌎

    Other services that we offer are listed below:
    ◾️Social media account
    hack (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snap chat etc).✔️
    ◾️Recovery of Lost Funds to Scammers (Binaryoptions scam, bitcoin scam and romance scam).💵💰✔️
    ◾️Android and iPhone hack.📱✔️
    ◾️Cryptocurrency wallet repairs✔️
    ◾️Data base hack.💻✔️
    ◾️Credit card debt clearing.💳✔️
    ◾️Credit score upgrade.✔️
    ◾️E-mail hack.📬✔️
    ◾️Website hack.📡✔️
    ◾️Other Computer hacking related Jobs.
    Your Satisfaction is our Pride!
    For more information about DCLeaks, check DCLeaks (Wikipedia).

    CONTACT:
    ✉️ Worldeaglehackers@gmail.com
    Direct messages.
    +14433474376

    DCLeaks Inc.
    Copyright©️2021. All rights reserved®️
    Terms and Conditions apply.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe