Shattered

Sunday, April 12, 2020

 I think most of you already know the basics of what’s been going on here but I wanted to write something. I will be skipping over bits as the last 3 weeks have been utter madness.


In my last posts I was telling you how my stomach was hugely distended, how bad I was feeling and the treatment I was trying for a bowel blockage. After a week of intense laxatives and the toll of that on my body I was admitted to Harefield. The intense regime continued but wasn’t working. The incredible doctor looking after me was concerned and had basically consulted with my gastro doctor to potentially operate on me as I was beginning to decline. Remember I’m alone and no visitors allowed, having to pass on bad news all the time. I was on nill by mouth and had an emergency CT scan to get more information about where the blockage was etc.

My doctor came in to talk to me and asked if I’d like my parents to come up.... I knew then. I asked her to tell me whatever she had to before they arrived. She said that unfortunately it wasn’t a bowel blockage but a large mass coming from my left ovary sitting in the area. It’s pushing on various things causing it to be difficult to go to the loo. She continued to say there was also visible changes to my breast tissue and suspicious mets on my bones. My world fell apart right there. I was very calm and everyone so lovely. I asked for some space and knew I had to make the worst call ever, I had to ring and explain to my parents and then my sister. Both broke me. Parents drove up to bring me home and were told the same info etc. 

I’m now back under the Royal Marsden, they are reviewing the CT scan but have said my cancer is incurable. I cried and screamed like a wild animal, every time I’ve overcome but I fear this won’t be possible now. We collectively cried a lot. 

My symptoms of being so fat were down partly to the huge mass but also fluid surrounding it so on Monday I had to go and have a drain put it (no sedation) watch it drain for several hours then have it removed (It was really awful and has upset me a lot). We drained off 3.5litres of excess fluid, I lost around 5kg and they took blood and fluid samples to send to the labs. 

One of the doctors who saw me through chemo before phoned to check on me and told me the results of everything should be back end of next week. We should have a lot more info and ways to move forward by then.

Physically I’m not doing well. My lung function has dropped a huge amount, I feel sick to look at the numbers. This needs to be checked. I’m extremely exhausted all the time and needing naps, I’m so miserable and frightened. My back pain has exploded and it’s agony to move. I’m still taking laxatives to help prevent a blockage. Just one week on from fluid drain I’ve gained another 3.3kg and am massively uncomfortable. I’ve got acne spots that continue all over my scalp, itching and making it sore. I’m on my 3rd period of the month. I’m not good physically or mentally coping but I know it’s under incredibly difficult circumstances but it makes it so much harder to have the extra Covid fear and not having anyone with you for support.

I have had some truly amazing messages, cards, videos and gifts. I’m sorry if I haven’t replied I’m just more exhausted than possible. 

I’m hoping I will have a plan soon and when I do I’ll let you know.

Just as aside note, we are in lockdown over Easter weekend. Don’t moan, look at the people you live with and love, hug them, voice call, enjoy their faces and tell them you love them. One day you won’t be able to and god you’ll wish you did it more. If you can go outside (safely) appreciate the breeze, the lung fulls of air, the smell of flowers, grass and wood, notice the sun on your face or the time you’re spending. Appreciate it. The thought of losing it soon makes me sob. Make those kids feel special, do something for others. Appreciate life.

Thank you for your love much sent back.

You Might Also Like

4 comments

  1. My ex-boyfriend dumped me 8months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me .I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. once again thank you Dr Godday you are truly talented and gifted. Email: Goddayspiritualhome@gmail.com is the only answer. he can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man contact +19194956404 - WHATSAPP ONLY

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: Emutemple@gmail.com or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to share this great testimony to the world on how Dr VOODOO cure me from HSV1&2 with his herbs, I was nervous when i first contact him about the cure for HSV but i decided to give him a try because i was desperate to get cured and be free from HSV. Dr VOODOO prepared the remedy and sent it to me through UPS,which I use just the way Dr VOODOO instructed me and thank God today I am a beneficiary to this cure and I went back to the hospital after 7 days of taking the herbs and I tested HSV1&2 Negative. So I will tell you all who are looking for a cure to his/her HSV1&2 that Dr VOODOO took research before he could finally get the solution to it and a lot of people are benefiting from him right now. He also cured my friend from HPV. Dr VOODOO heals with natural herbs. Please I urge you to contact him now through his email address: voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com or call and WhatsApp him on +2348140120719. He is capable of curing HIV/AIDS, HERPES, HPV, HSV1&2, CANCER of all kinds, DIABETES and so many other infections.

      Delete
  3. After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +15068001647
    you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe