I haven't forgotten you. Far from it ive been wanting to blog all week. I've got loads of ideas and photos and posts ready to go but none of them have felt right, or honest. 

I've still been having a miserable time of things mentally. It's like a war is raging in my head and I'm trying to take shelter from it. I spoke to my doctor this week and he thinks it's the steroids side effects unfortunately. One minute I'm ok, hopeful, calm. The next I'm hating myself so much I can't bear to look in a mirror and all I can do is cry. The next I can't see any way forward, I can't stop sobbing and feel unloved. I've been horrible to my poor parents and despite being exhausted and sore, I've found the only thing that gives me a bit of relief is getting out of the house and doing something. It's a vicious circle and there's no let up. So it's been a pretty horrible time. 

Steroids also effect my diabetes and my sugars are running too high, which again doesn't help at all. I'm seeing my diabetes specialists next Monday so at least that will be sorted out. Another side effect is weight gain and moon face (round puffy face) so I've been feeling really unattractive, not myself and unfit. 😩

I haven't wanted to blog misery, and similarly, I haven't wanted to pretend everything is ok. 

So here's a bit of both I guess. Telling you things aren't great, but I've also had some nice times with lovely people. 

On Monday, I finally booked a Groupon deal that I bought ages ago and realised was about to expire. So my friend Pippa and I had to get booked sharpish before it ran out. The deal was for a sharing platter and cocktails at the Vista rooftop bar in the Trafalgar hotel.