5.21.2008

Changes

I've been thinking about life post transplant recently. The whole idea of life afterwards is exciting, amazing, scary and daunting all at once. I am used to having Cf as I have dealt with it for 21 years, but when I have new lungs I will be in a whole different world of sensations, feelings as well as a new medical area to have to learn about. As you can imagine thinking about all of this in any detail is rather overwealming.

Over the last few days I've been focusing specifically on something I hadn't really thought about. Apart from being in a completely unfamiliar world physically and mentally, my body will change in its appearance too.

I will have a scar accross my chest, probably under my breasts running from one side to the other or possibly straight down the middle, it depends on surgeons preference. I will probably also have a few smaller scars on my upper body from the chest drains I will have in.
My skin will probably have quite a lot of spots etc because of the shock to my system and of course the barrage of drugs that I will need afterwards. Hopefully this will calm down as my body adjusts.
I am hoping that my back which is quite curved at the moment, something I absolutely HATE and really upsets me, should straighten slightly. I was unaware of this until recently but apparently it can happen, and for me would be a real bonus as I have tried without success to get help with my spine for years.
One aspect that does bother me (even though I know it shouldn't) is that of body hair. One of the anti rejection drugs can make hair on arms, legs,face etc grow much more and quite dark. As I am very dark haired naturally this may make it worse. I know there are lots of ways to remove or bleach hair, (i cant use electrolysis due to infection risk) but I hate the idea of either having to put up with the problem or constantly struggling to cover it up.

These problems are not big in the scheme of things and I feel bad for even blogging about them when some others have to put up with so much worse, but it does bother me and sometimes these issues as well as everything else can just make it seem very very hard and as though there is no end in sight, just new problems.

Rest assured I will face anything that comes along, and hopefully find solutions with the support of others. I suppose this is the very reason I shouldn't give myself too much time to sit and think....
x

9 comments:

  1. Hi Tor,

    Have just read your latest blog. I know you will be able to face anything that comes along, you are so strong, but seriously, a lot of the 'changes' that you mentioned may not even occur. I have, so far, not had any problems with extra hair growth, anywhere. You know I had a lot of complications with other matters but the only one that I have continued to have to put up with is a puffy face due to the steriods, which I pray every hospital visit will be reduced, and I am sure they will at some point!

    Seroiously though Tor, as you mentioned, these are minor little obstacles that can be overcome, if they arise in the first place!

    Hope you are well, sweetie.

    Love Kim xxx

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  2. As you say hunni too much time to sit and think makes us all analyse every detail of everything. I'm sure when the time comes to start your new life you'll be far too busy being busy.

    (((HUGS)))
    xxx

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  3. I can understand why these things would be part and parcel of all the pre-transplant anxiety. But you will be just beautiful post-transplant :o)The scars will fade to becoming thin pale lines given time and if your hair grows a little quicker than normal, it sounds like the perfect excuse to be pampered at the beauty and hair salon regularly! Seriously though, I've met lots of post-transplanters and never noticed them looking anything other than stunningly healthy and glowing with happiness - and thats the best look ever! HUGS xxxxxxxxxxxx

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  4. hey i got a big scar across my stomach from when i was 3 days old, then re opened when i was 8, its a story for you to tell about it!!

    I hope all those things you mentioned dont get you down too much, cos you will be so well and healthy you wont be thinking about it!
    your be down hyde park doing your walk in half the time you did the other year!!

    text me when you need to!

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  5. hey sweetie,

    it's not surprising you're thinking about the smaller aspects of it too as every little bit is a change in your life.

    Do you read Jac's blog? She's been obsessing over being able to pluck her eyebrows since she woke up I think ;)

    These are all normal anxieties but as you know, once you are the other side they will pale into insignificance due to all the amazing stuff you will be able to do that you haven't done in years.

    Plus I love Emmie's suggestion - regular pampering at a salon most definitely calls!

    Love and hugs xxx

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  6. Hey, just found your blog via the forum - well done on winning your award!!! Anyway, as you might know I am just 5 weeks post tx so totally know where you are coming from - these are all things i have worried about. But believe me, they will pale into insignificance once you get your new lungs and can breathe again!! Also I was put on a different anti rejection drug because of my dark hair so don't worry about that.

    hope the call comes really soon!

    jac xx

    p.s can't believe emily posted about my eyebrow obsession ;-)

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