under pressure!

Hello lovely blog readers,

I'm sorry its been so long again but I haven't wanted to update lately. First of all I want to say a big huge thank you to everyone for reading my blog and for the lovely comments I've recieved. I honestly can't say how much I love reading them and how much it means to have all your good wishes and thoughts. Whenever I am notified of a new comment it makes me smile :)
Please do keep reading. Until recently I thought that only a couple of people actually read this blog but I'm starting to realise that there are probably more of you than i think! For those of you that don't leave comments please consider doing so, no pressure, but if you do fancy it, its really straightforward and anyone can do it. Just click "comment" at the bottom of each post :)
This last week has brought some not so good news. To cut a long story short in 2006 i was on some medication that made my blood sugar levels go too high and became diabetic for a while. I injected for a a time but it really was too much for me as I hate needles and was just one step too difficult. I was then changed to tablets which controlled my sugars until they calmed down enough for me not to need treatment any more.
I still check my sugars once a week to keep an eye on them and they are ususally fine, however I have started to have some slightly higher readings. I'm now keeping a closer eye on them and have started the tablets again.
This has made me quite upset and stressed which in turn is probably not helping me very much. I'm not keen on doing my finger pricks and am pretty worried that over time things could escalate to needing insulin again. It is just something I will need to monitor but that I dont need on my plate right now.

On the positive side, controlling my sugars means that I am at less risk of infection (as the bacteria feed on sugar) and it may be they will return back to normal in time. Fingers crossed.

I have been in a very bad mood this last week and have had a big row with my family which isn't good. Things have calmed down a bit now though so hopefully I will keep my cool more easily.

Not much else to report. I will update again soon when I have some additions to the wish list :)
take care xxxxxxxxxx

The Wish List

I'm having a very rough day today and am not really in the mood to write my weekly blog. So as promised here is my post transplant wish list which I started last week.

1. Lots of theatre trips (obviously! one of the things i miss most)


2. Being able to sing with new lungs and restart my singing lessons again (again one of the things i miss most)




3. Taking lots of drama courses to learn my trade! (always wanted to do but never the opportunity, the few i have taken have been scary but fun)



4. A large shopping spree ( I can't go shopping properly now. Being able to try on as many things as i want without being really breathless and walking round the shops not in my chair would be brilliant. also having clothes that fit better and aren't restricting my breathing)



5. Being able to play with my nephews and take them on days out



6. Finishing my degree (and graduating with the cool hat and gown!)



7. Dance classes namely belly dancing, and burlesque dancing! (Ok I am the worlds worse dancer but both of these look fun!! Plus burlesque has the added bonus of giving me self confidence and something no one would expect me to do! Its always nice to suprise yourself and others..)



8. Hydro active 5km run (did this in 2006 and LOVED it, want to do it again and beat my time if possible)



9. Trying many more cocktails!



10. Going out by myself independantly again (im always with someone else and often reliant on them, to push my chair etc.)



11. Masterclass (run at a london theatre with professional actors/actresses. Sounds great, they keep sending me details but at the moment there is no way i could do one. Plus has the added bonus of being right opposite Phantoms theatre...)



12. Tea at the Ritz (looks fun)



13. Having a really big clean out (Im far too tired, breathy etc to sit having a clear out for more than a few minutes so a complete de-junk would be brilliant)



14. starring in a west end show (ok a bit ambitious but this is the ultimate goal one day and it's my list :) )



15. walking round london looking at xmas lights ( i love london and xmas..enough said)



16. More cooking (Again something i can't do due to oxygen danger and being too strenuous. Won't be cooking anything fancy but just something)


17. Art classes life drawing (I studied art for a long time at school, and was very proud of the standard i reached. I dont' do it so much now because i get very stiff if i sit for too long and that makes my chest tight. Its a real shame as my pictures are up in the house but something I would like to start again.)


18. Marathon (Again probably not the mose achievable goal but a possibility one day)


19. Trying new cocktails!


20. Being able to get fit and exercise again (Have never really enjoyed exercise but am exasperated at how weak and unfit i am now. Quite fancy the chance to get fit but can't say how long the urge will last....)

Places to visit

• center parcs
• different places in the uk
• new york
• florida
• wales
• brighton
• vegas
• grand canyon
• greece

This is a basic list and there are probably many more things, but its a good start. Any suggestions welcome. x

Ps I would also appreciate some positive thoughts if possible as although I'm not ill or anything awful I am finding things very difficult at the moment. Thank you x

1 down...5 to go!

Thankfully it has been a bit cooler this week so that has been a big relief to my little lungs. I have still been having various episodes tho, lungs are still feeling tight and quite dry, but im putting that down to mainly mad hormones at the moment. Plus i always seem to have some problem either something aching, hurting, spasming, or otherwise malfunctioning! This is not unusual for me at all its amazing how many things are affected by my poorly lungs but it can get a bit wearing sometimes. I do have some very good news tho, I heard yesterday that I have passed the first of my OU courses! Its nice to have one under my belt, and despite having 5 more to go (six smaller courses make up the degree) its one step closer now.
I'm still working on my current course which is still proving very taxing! I'mtrying to make some time to do other things as well. I've been trying to organise different things like my craft stuff etc, I can only tackle very small areas at a time because i get tired and my back aches and then that leads to my chest getting tight so im doing small areas in short bursts but at least I'm doing something positive. I've also been scrapbooking and card making which is quite relaxing.
Last week I had a nice suprise, I recieved a letter from my local MP. He had seen a local newspaper article about me when I won my Breathing Life Award, and decided to get in touch. The letter was completely unexpectedd and I was really proud to think he had read it been compelled to write. He said that my award was well deserved and...
"It is evident from the article that you are a woman of character and great courage: devoted to her future and possessing unbelievable mental strength"
Can't be bad can it?! Seriously though I was really touched by his kindness and the fact that he had taken time to get in contact. He went on to say that he would be happy to help with any future issues in any way he could.
After a conversation with a friend last week I have decided that my next post will be a "wish list" things I want to do after transplant. I've been thinking about doing one for a while but thought it might be nice to share it with my blog readers!
So keep checking in for that soon!
Much love xxxx