I'm sorry for lack of updates recently. I'll be completely honest and say that I am having a pretty tough time coping at the moment and because of this don't have a lot to report or really feel much like talking.
The thing I hate most about the black moods I seem to get lately is how they can come on so quickly and completely engulf me. Thankfully they can lift just as quickly. I have discussed these lows with my team who tell me that they are very normal but "normal" doesn't help at all when I am feeling at my worst. What started as a low in mood last week has lingered into a general depressive feeling the last few days, it is horrible to feel so down and teaful. Waking up and facing the same each day as well as trying so hard to continue with my weight gain (I havent had much change lately, reaching a plateau and last week lost 0.3kg) is really hard. I have also been having lots of problems with my stomach, feeling very sick most of the day and really having to force food down which doesn't help my mood or my discomfort.
I've also had my 19 month of waiting anniversary this week. It is so hard to look back at the whole of this time and think that out of all those days I have had one call, the possiblity of new lungs for a few hours one night.
I hope to be back very soon feeling much happier again, but please bear with me if you dont hear for a little while or if I am not so talkative as usual when I chat. I will get there eventually, but in the meantime, I'm still here.
Much love to you all xxxx