Depression
Tuesday, October 27, 2015Some days I feel as though there's a dark shadow, lingering in my peripheral vision. This shadow of dark thoughts and feelings. I try to ignore it but I know it's there and I hope it doesn't get darker or bigger. I have to try and go about my day without looking at it directly, trying to ignore it, while all the time feeling that sinking in my stomach everytime I do think of it.
2 comments
I read this and felt I simply had to reply. I'm sure I won't end up saying anything that you haven't already been told hundreds of times, but still...despite all the things that you've been through mentally and physically, you keep making the choice to try and keep going. That's something you have control over even if your mind and body seem to be giving way, and it's a really impressive choice. I don't currently live in England anymore but if I did I would ask if we could meet up because I've been reading this blog for several years and I feel like I have loads of hugs stored up for you and it's the only concrete thing I could probably do to help. I'm lucky to not have experienced a major illness yet, but I have experienced depression. Just keeping going even when it feels like nothing is worth it or ever will be is still an achievement. You're doing just fine as you are, I swear.
ReplyDeleteMany long-distance hugs,
Katie (YamiKatie)
Tor, I've followed your blog for many years and I'm sad to see that life isn't easier for you.
ReplyDeleteI have a chronic illness and the book which has helped me a lot is How To Be Sick by Toni Bernhard. I can't promise it will fix everything but I do think it would help you a little. It really has helped me.
I hope you manage to read it. You have survived so much. I can't imagine how it must feel like to be you. Keep going, you have huge worth.